RitchieWoman (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} ritchiewoman) wrote,@ 2004-07-28 00:33:00 |
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Sad Friends
I don't know what it is, but lately my friends have been sad. All for very different reasons, but still - they are hurting. To protect their privacy, I will call them Friend 1, 2, and 3.
Friend 1 has decided, for various reasons, to stop taking her anti-anxiety medicine. Now, faithful readers of the Ritchiewoman know that I sympathize with this immensely, seeing that I tried (unsuccessfully, I may add) to get off the Paxil. It's definitely no fun. She has lots and lots of other stresses in her life right now, and sort of no one around her to help her. She has lots of people who love her - but we all live in far away lands. Of course I'm worried - worried that this is the right decision, worried that she is going to have as hard of a time with it as I did. But she is a grown up, and she knows what's best. I'm thinking of you, Friend 1. And I'm sending good thoughts.
Friend 2 is going through a breakup. A 5-year relationship breakup. A "I thought I was getting a ring at the end but instead I didn't" breakup. She sees all of her friends married and together and feels even worse. Not that she wants all of us to dump our husbands. At least I don't think so. No, she doesn't. I'm sure of it. I think. Anyway, breakups are the worst. Especially when you break up with a person you were so sure you would never have a breakup with. It's been a while, but I remember that feeling in the days and weeks following - you are just stunned. Life has the gall to continue around you, and you are expected by society to function in it. But you are just so sad, mourning not just the relationship, but even more so the idea of what the relationship could have been. There's no way around it, Friend 2, this is going to hurt. And you may fall into full collapse more than once. But it will get better. I'm thinking of you, Friend 2. And I'm sending good thoughts.
Friend 3 isn't really sure about what is going on, except she feels bad. She goes through her day, performing well at work, dressed and alert, polite and appropriate. But she then comes home and becomes sad, and mad, which makes her feel bad. The thing about this that she absolutely cannot stand is she is on her best behavior in front of strangers, co-workers - people who in the big picture do not count. But she is her worst in front of those she loves. And I don't think she understands exactly why she is this way. Oh, has this happened to me - I behave a certain way and I have no clue why. I react to something strange and I'm shocked by my reaction. I've known you for a number of years, Friend 3, and I have to assure you that these mood swings are temporary. This is not you. This is an anomaly. We'll figure out what's going on. But remember this - we are often our worst in front of those we love because we know they will not reject us. We just love you right back. By showing your bad side, you're telling the person you love and trust them. They may not see that right away, but it's really true. We'll get to the bottom of this. But don't be hard on yourself while we do so. You're allowed to have a crabby phase. I'm thinking of you, Friend 3. And I'm sending good thoughts.
It's good to be sad sometimes. It balances out the happy. If we were just happy all the time, then we would be manic, and that would be really really irritating. So brace down through the sadness. And know the glad is coming. And know I'm thinking of you. And I'm sending good thoughts.
xoxo A
I don't know what it is, but lately my friends have been sad. All for very different reasons, but still - they are hurting. To protect their privacy, I will call them Friend 1, 2, and 3.
Friend 1 has decided, for various reasons, to stop taking her anti-anxiety medicine. Now, faithful readers of the Ritchiewoman know that I sympathize with this immensely, seeing that I tried (unsuccessfully, I may add) to get off the Paxil. It's definitely no fun. She has lots and lots of other stresses in her life right now, and sort of no one around her to help her. She has lots of people who love her - but we all live in far away lands. Of course I'm worried - worried that this is the right decision, worried that she is going to have as hard of a time with it as I did. But she is a grown up, and she knows what's best. I'm thinking of you, Friend 1. And I'm sending good thoughts.
Friend 2 is going through a breakup. A 5-year relationship breakup. A "I thought I was getting a ring at the end but instead I didn't" breakup. She sees all of her friends married and together and feels even worse. Not that she wants all of us to dump our husbands. At least I don't think so. No, she doesn't. I'm sure of it. I think. Anyway, breakups are the worst. Especially when you break up with a person you were so sure you would never have a breakup with. It's been a while, but I remember that feeling in the days and weeks following - you are just stunned. Life has the gall to continue around you, and you are expected by society to function in it. But you are just so sad, mourning not just the relationship, but even more so the idea of what the relationship could have been. There's no way around it, Friend 2, this is going to hurt. And you may fall into full collapse more than once. But it will get better. I'm thinking of you, Friend 2. And I'm sending good thoughts.
Friend 3 isn't really sure about what is going on, except she feels bad. She goes through her day, performing well at work, dressed and alert, polite and appropriate. But she then comes home and becomes sad, and mad, which makes her feel bad. The thing about this that she absolutely cannot stand is she is on her best behavior in front of strangers, co-workers - people who in the big picture do not count. But she is her worst in front of those she loves. And I don't think she understands exactly why she is this way. Oh, has this happened to me - I behave a certain way and I have no clue why. I react to something strange and I'm shocked by my reaction. I've known you for a number of years, Friend 3, and I have to assure you that these mood swings are temporary. This is not you. This is an anomaly. We'll figure out what's going on. But remember this - we are often our worst in front of those we love because we know they will not reject us. We just love you right back. By showing your bad side, you're telling the person you love and trust them. They may not see that right away, but it's really true. We'll get to the bottom of this. But don't be hard on yourself while we do so. You're allowed to have a crabby phase. I'm thinking of you, Friend 3. And I'm sending good thoughts.
It's good to be sad sometimes. It balances out the happy. If we were just happy all the time, then we would be manic, and that would be really really irritating. So brace down through the sadness. And know the glad is coming. And know I'm thinking of you. And I'm sending good thoughts.
xoxo A
